I made a mistake. For years I took brokenness for weakness and it made me numb. Numbness allowed room for pride. I repent. I didn’t deal with anything on the outside and it was killing me inside. So the pressure of life would get to the point of requiring a response. My responses have not always been the best. Then recently the pressure of life once again required a response. I didn’t respond. The pressure increased and I had no choice but to respond. I felt like I had come to the end of all I could deal with. Then God showed me his love and I responded. I broke. I thought in brokenness I would find failure but I found freedom. The thing is my vessel was broken but I thought I was being strong holding it together but God needed brokenness. He needed to break some things away to make me whole.
So as I lay at his feet with tears pouring down my face my tears speak a language. You see my tears speak a language of understanding that the blindness of my sight does not understand. Pray with understanding and pray without understanding. I do not understand the very words I speak. I can’t find the words to describe my pain but I need to talk. It hurts Lord I’m so broken. He smiles at me reaches his hand down to me and says I know it hurts come. He says forgive as you are forgiven. Love as you are loved. So I pour my alabaster box of tears over his feet. I take his hand and He pulls me higher. Abba. He shows me that I reflect him, He is my father. I am his daughter I am love. I love much because I am loved. I forgive much as I am forgiven.
So I exhale, I found him. He was waiting for my brokenness. He was waiting for me to pour out He provided. There is so much power in your brokenness. I let go. I’m free to breath. My Abba has me. I’m Abba’s daughter.
